What does being a Freegxrl mean to you?

Photo by Jabari Timothy on Unsplash

Life is full of transitions, and one of the most important works we can do is on ourselves.

Here at Freegxrl, we stand as our biggest advocates for embracing our authentic selves. That first moment of growth - the slot that once seemed misaligned finally clicks into place. It’s the moment when you step back and see the messy pieces coming together to form a picture you recognize. It’s beautiful. It’s complicated. But most importantly, it’s yours.

It’s freedom.

That’s all we can aspire to. Creating a life that reflects all the different shades of who we are.

The Shame of Shrinking Ourselves

As women, we know all too well the micro-moments laced with shame.

Moments when we were told to speak less.

Shrink ourselves.

Appease others before ourselves.

Research indicates that fewer than half of Black women feel they can be authentic in the workplace without jeopardizing their positions, facing challenges like tokenism and heightened scrutiny.

We've all been there: faced with the choice between stepping into our authentic selves or masking for survival.

Self-abandonment is sometimes just getting through an uncomfortable, unsafe environment, mustering up enough ease to survive. But deep down, don’t we all just want to breathe - unrestricted, with no pressure on our chest?

To just be us.

Boundless. Free.

So, here we are. This is the corner of the internet we can make ours. Welcome to your new home: A Space for Her.

What is A Space for Her?

A Space for Her is where we gather, safely unravel, and create space for our collective growth. Here, we come together with a monthly prompt for an open-ended conversation, where the community fills in the blanks. We share anonymously to preserve privacy and find connection - relating, probing, learning, and most importantly, creating room to just be.

You - our amazing, engaged community of Fairies - have woven your words into this article, creating a beautiful, community-led piece.

For our first entry, we focused on letting loose and embodying the true essence of who we are.

A Freegxrl.

Prompt: What Does Being a Freegxrl Mean to You?

One thing we can all agree on: we’re not waiting for permission anymore to live our most unapologetic selves. In today’s world, where being online constantly encourages oversharing, we just want to “Let our titties hang out and not be ashamed!” We've spent far too much time overanalyzing and underserving ourselves. It’s a strange paradox - knowing our worth while doubting it because of how others perceive us.

That’s why we emphasize closing your eyes and jumping into what you want. Whether it’s for the plot, for the inner child you’re nurturing, or just because - you don’t need a reason. There’s nothing to justify. Not here. Not with yourself.

Learning to Trust Your Gut

Building self-trust isn’t easy, especially when you don’t see immediate results. But it’s about learning that you can “be exactly how you feel” and still show up.

Trust comes over time. The more you commit to your word and advocate for yourself, the more you’ll realize that self-affirming language can empower you. It’s about setting boundaries and protecting your heart.

Isn’t it ironic? The freer we become, the more we need to protect ourselves. But this doesn't restrict us. Instead, we learn to create a filtering system that helps us identify people, environments, and choices that don’t align with the person we’re becoming or feel unsafe. Still, we maintain the "courage to chase our dreams" and the "strength to walk away from what doesn’t serve us."

Choosing Self-Love: Doing the Hard Stuff

To truly believe in our capabilities, we sometimes have to tap into a level of delusion. It's about tuning out the noise and loving yourself from the core.

The protective layers we’ve built in response to life’s abrasiveness can’t exist anymore. A shift must take place - mentally and emotionally. It’s saying, “I can do better,” without resorting to self-deprecation.

“Being a Freegxrl means living unapologetically in my truth,” and if we can’t do that, how can we expect to emulate it in our close relationships?

We set the standard. And this begins with an open mind, especially about what self-love looks like now. It's not just the perks or the aesthetics that have defined self-care as a booming industry, especially in social media, with its impossible six-step morning routines.

Advocating for Ourselves Like Never Before

It’s the things we probably won’t post, the embarrassing stuff, the multiple failures before we have a good day of consistency, the mundane moments that we forget to appreciate. These are the things that pull us back to reality.

But we’re working on it. We’re standing firm in our stride as we make mistakes, create memories, reinvent ourselves, unlearn, rediscover, “take no shit,” and be free.